In two places at once...

Anders before his conversion

Anders surrendering to Police on the holiday isle yesterday

Anders Behring Breivik the Norwegian, who yesterday shot up to 100 communist party youth members at a Government indoctrination camp on the island of Utoya, and at the same time drove a car bomb into Oslo, killing 7 people, was today under arrest. Locals in his home town said he had recently started to grow a beard. Norwegian state TV, the Police and Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg said, 'multiculturalism and immigration was not to blame', and that the people of Norway live in 'happiness and harmony'.

Tom aboard the sky train

Tom Watson before he became an MP

 ...since becoming an MP

Lynch mob leader and fat fuck Labour MP Tom Watson has put on 20 stone since winning his seat. The greedy cunt claims the maximum of £4,800 a week on parliamentary food expenses. Watson an expert on confidential emails and how to pretend he is not a publicity seeker, told 'The Daily Donna' since becoming an MP he has learnt how to 'stuff himself with food and cash'.

Liar Liar

Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper

Shadow Cabinet Ministers, husband and wife team Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper today defended their decision to fuck over the taxpayer. The most hated couple in Britain flipped their home '3' times in two years to steal shit loads of extra cash in Parliamentary expenses. Known as 'Mr and Mrs Smeg' by other MP's because they both stink of cheesy cock, and because of all the fucking kids they've had.  

Yes he is!

President Chunder and Luciana

Chuka Umunna the Labour Party's favourite black MP, is known as 'Chunder Umunna' by everyone who hates him. Chunder is being groomed for the Labour Party leadership because he is black. Smarmy bastard Chunder a closet queen, is regarded as 'Britain's Obama' by politically correct loving socialist dog lickspittles. His recent split from horny looking bitch and fellow MP Luciana Berger, was seen as a sign Chunder may be preparing to come out the closet as most normal blokes would love to shag Luciana.

Beaten up by a girl

Murdoch's wife Wendi Deng with a great right slap to Marbles

Marbles being led away by Police after his unprovoked attack on Rupert Murdoch

Ugly fat fucking left wing piece of shit and anarchist member of UKuncut Jonnie Marbles, was today arrested for attacking Sir Rupert Murdoch at the Parliamentary Select Committee with a custard pie. Marbles acting under orders of UKuncut, a more severe subversive section of the Labour Party (made up wholly of lazy public sector pension scavenging shirkers) pledged to stand by the fat cunt. Pageant Malarkey, Marble's ex-girlfriend told 'The Daily Donna' the unemployed comedian and communist dirtbag "never washes and never stops fucking eating". 

David Milliband wears better suits

Julius & Ethel Rosenberg both died in the electric chair

Ed and David...brotherly love for the cameras

Insignificant loser and ex Foreign Secretary David Milliband, denied rumours he hates his backstabbing younger brother Red Ed. The warring sons of notorious communist scum Julius & Ethel Rosenberg have never had real jobs.  Asked why they both have bird shit in their hair, David replied " it's in our eyes too".

Read em and weep

 after 168 years...not any more

Milliband sucking up to Sun readers

Red Ed Milliband and the entire Labour Party are now on high alert after the demise of the News of the World. Many readers blame the evil communist cunt for helping shut down their favourite newspaper. With the help of the trade unions and stuffed ballot boxes, subversive shit face Red Ed famously knifed his own brother Dead Ed to proclaim the Labour Party leadership. Reports of vigilante groups attacking socialists with machetes were unfortunately untrue but there is always tomorrow!

A Pig in Shit

Sir Paul with the last ever edition of 'News of the  World'

Britain's Top Militia Officer, Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson today denied claims he was bent.  Sir Paul's cock sucking approach to News International Journalists has left him in deep deep shit.  Amid calls for his resignation Sir Paul an advocate of the New Labour Police State, was tonight in hiding. Running away from all the street cameras, press and politicians he has been licking the arses of.  

Fat chance

Scotland's big fat Euro Lottery winners

Colin and Chris Weir Scotland's massive Euro Lottery winners were today celebrating their £161 million lottery win! The two fat fuckers shocked journalists by not signing up for immediate liposuction, neither would answer the charge that only fat bastards ever seem to win the lottery. Nobody wished them well, everyone was too pissed off at all that money going to lard, especially as it was difficult to tell who was fat Colin and who was fat Chris.

David Cameron wet fish

Cameron allowed 'The Daily Donna' to measure his forehead

British Prime Minister David Cameron has denied reports that he has hydrocephalus (water on the brain). His massive forehead grows bigger and bigger forcing Downing Street to issue a statement denying this is affecting his role. Cameron apparently a Conservative has been extremely fucking thick of late implementing lots of socialist bollocks. The lefty twat recently pretended to agree with President Obama in a desperate attempt to woo the black vote. He also gave away most of Britain's dwindling wealth to scavs in the third world. Cameron's aides had to remind him he didn't need to bother as most black people don't actually bother getting off their arses to vote.

Gordon Brown white van man

Gordon and Sarah Brown doing real work

Gordon Brown ex UK Prime Minister was shocked to discover that nobody gives a shit about his phone being hacked. The miserable bastard who was imposed as Prime Minister on the UK without actually being voted for, learnt that the UK public thought he was such a cunt he deserved it.  Brown denied accusations that his phone was never hacked but he was in fact just seeking publicity.  Brown has struggled to cope after being ejected from office, as a former Prime Minister he expected to get a top job but has lost out to decent people.

Michelle Obama sex kitten

President Obama and his beautiful wife First Lady Michelle Obama

The Kenyan squatting in the Whitehouse President Barack Obama has denied to journalists that his wife is cheating on him. He posed with the First Lady to prove to journalists their love for one another was real.  Reporters asked if it was true his 'limp dick' was the reason for Michelle's infidelities.  "Not true" he cried "it gets stiff at least once a week".

Yvonne Ridley's tits

Yvonne Ridley captured by the Taliban

Yvonne outside her London home

Taliban fan Yvonne Ridley says her tits have got bigger since her conversion to islam. She claims more men desire her now she is a traitor. On selling her soul and her country down the river she stated "it was easy because the Taliban were the only people who helped me get noticed". On her return to the UK, Press TV snapped her up and she now sucks Iranian cock.

England lezzers lose to France

England Ladies Football team just before kick off yesterday

England Ladies Football team went out of the Fifa 2011 Women's World Cup on penalties last night. Lesbian manager Hope Powell denied claims they lost because the whole team are lesbians. She put it down to the fact her team were shit and that her politically correct appointment meant she didn't have a fucking clue.

Rebekah Brooks collar and cuffs

Rebekah Brooks telling the News of the World staff they were fired

Here at 'The Daily Donna' I take sides, so all those who are after Rebekah Brooks head can 'go eat shit'. 

Reason to be cheerful!

Ed Milliband waving goodbye to the 'News of the World'

Red Ed Milliband the Labour Party Leader, has no chance of being the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. That's the really good news, so no need to lose the will to live because... 'IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN'.