The ones that got away

Cameron in bullish mood

Recognise the looters? - call CRIMESTOPPERS now 0800 555 111

With the public and political demands for retribution over the recent rioting growing, Prime Minister David Cameron demanded Magistrates and Judges must jail all those who smashed and trashed up other peoples restaurants, homes, businesses and looted shops. Those who took the piss on Facebook got 4 years, the mother of 3 who accepted a pair of shorts got 5 months and the person who got 16 months for nicking a bottle of water, were wishing they too went to Eton.

On the make and on the take

Mitch Winehouse & Catholic married Keith Vaz

right behind the driver...Vaz in Pole position

Fat fucking crook massive snob and bullshit socialist the Labour MP Keith Vaz hogged the limelight again today by jumping on the Amy Winehouse 'sorry now did nothing when she was alive' death bandwagon. Loving the cameras, Vaz made sure he was seen kissing Amy's Dad Mitch. Greedy Vaz from the Yemen who lists his hobbies as buying council houses silk cushions and chomping on krakowski, told reporters he needs a chauffeur because 'life as an opposition backbench MP meant he was busier than we all might think'.

Kebab Lady

20 'Doner' a day Diane

Fat fucking socialist white hating bitch and lover of the private education system, Diane Abbott MP, defended herself over recent accusations that she is too fat to be the Shadow Health Minister. Diane, always full of shit and Britain's biggest racist, was tonight collecting her weekly wages from Rupert Murdoch owner of Sky News where she is such a regular contributor. Diane who loves taxi rides claims over £130,000 a year in parliamentary expenses and smirks a lot. 

Unless your name is Gideon...

Cabin Boy George

Cocaine binger Chancellor of the Exchequer and total fucking hypocrite George Osborne loves a big fat line as does fellow Tory MP the snotty Louise Mensch. The best selling chick licking soft porn author has admitted to getting shitfaced from her cocaine and alcohol sessions. George and Louise have had loads of fucking fun shoveling coke up their nostrils but now they think it's wrong. So we musn't do it either because they know what's best for us.

Model Mum

Sara before money

sophisticated Sara

Media darling, the highly educated Sara Payne mother of a murder victim was in her element yesterday. As reports emerged that Sara Payne was on the hacked phone list, Sara, away from the spotlight for a couple of years, was immediately thrust back into the limelight thanks to the News of the World and the hackgate enquiry. Rent a quote Sara was today counting the compensation and book deals that will come her way, the lovely photo shoots she is so fond of and the starring role in a West End musical.

The importance of being Piers

Piers and friends

'Piers Morgan Tonight' CNN

Piers yesterday

Champagne socialist and smug bastard Piers Morgan, was tonight shitting himself after being brilliantly dragged into the hackgate enquiry by the rather gorgeous Conservative MP Louise Mensch. Brilliant beautiful Ms Mensch who writes great best selling novels under her maiden name 'Louise Bagshawe', skilfully dropped Piers Morgan's name into the shit swirling around the Murdoch empire. Morgan a former editor of the News of the World and the Daily Mirror, has seen his US show 'Piers Morgan Tonight' ratings plummet amid his crap style. Piers a known cyber bully was today crying like the fucking baby we all know him to be.

I slam...therefore I am

The President demands more spends

President of the USA, Barack Hussein Obama, today denied he is taking the piss out of the American people by promising to bankrupt the country he calls his adopted home. Obama who is building a mosque on 'Ground Zero' and bows to Saudi Kings told a packed press conference 'his youngest daughter is not that ugly but does have a terrible moustache'.

Labour MP Chris Bryant cruising

Chris Bryant with his dog 'Jared' on Clapham Common

Ginger slime the Labour MP Chris Bryant gave an exclusive interview to 'The Daily Donna'. He tells voters how much he misses his home in the Rhondda (Wales) but had now found 'Rhondda' on London's Clapham Common. The lonely MP often walks the common as it helps him think and continually come up with great ideas for the Labour Party. Bryant a leading contender for Labour's shadow cabinet is quietly confident as under equality rules the cabinet must  contain at least one poof.

Chris Huhne is blind

Chris Huhne and his hoe-bags

The 'crooked' Cabinet Secretary has no taste in women. Look at the fuck ugly mingers' he chooses to sleep with.  Most men and any self respecting lesbian would be reaching for the sick bucket but not Huhne, he can't get enough of ugly.  

Yvonne Ridley still pork

'Terrorist Hugger' Yvonne Ridley on her shit tv program

Massive twat Yvonne Ridley has denied claims she is a Jew Hater but a Zionist Hater instead. Her claim to hate Zionists being legal as it lets her off her Jew hating racial hatred. When asked about her conversion to islam being 'not quite convincing' she explains that she now wears full islamic dress, and that it doubles up as a great disguise to hide her enormous mounds of blubbering fat.  The fat cunt again denied she was a traitor by working for the Iranian Government's mouthpiece Press TV, "not true" she squealed.

In two places at once...

Anders before his conversion

Anders surrendering to Police on the holiday isle yesterday

Anders Behring Breivik the Norwegian, who yesterday shot up to 100 communist party youth members at a Government indoctrination camp on the island of Utoya, and at the same time drove a car bomb into Oslo, killing 7 people, was today under arrest. Locals in his home town said he had recently started to grow a beard. Norwegian state TV, the Police and Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg said, 'multiculturalism and immigration was not to blame', and that the people of Norway live in 'happiness and harmony'.

Tom aboard the sky train

Tom Watson before he became an MP

 ...since becoming an MP

Lynch mob leader and fat fuck Labour MP Tom Watson has put on 20 stone since winning his seat. The greedy cunt claims the maximum of £4,800 a week on parliamentary food expenses. Watson an expert on confidential emails and how to pretend he is not a publicity seeker, told 'The Daily Donna' since becoming an MP he has learnt how to 'stuff himself with food and cash'.

Liar Liar

Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper

Shadow Cabinet Ministers, husband and wife team Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper today defended their decision to fuck over the taxpayer. The most hated couple in Britain flipped their home '3' times in two years to steal shit loads of extra cash in Parliamentary expenses. Known as 'Mr and Mrs Smeg' by other MP's because they both stink of cheesy cock, and because of all the fucking kids they've had.  

Yes he is!

President Chunder and Luciana

Chuka Umunna the Labour Party's favourite black MP, is known as 'Chunder Umunna' by everyone who hates him. Chunder is being groomed for the Labour Party leadership because he is black. Smarmy bastard Chunder a closet queen, is regarded as 'Britain's Obama' by politically correct loving socialist dog lickspittles. His recent split from horny looking bitch and fellow MP Luciana Berger, was seen as a sign Chunder may be preparing to come out the closet as most normal blokes would love to shag Luciana.

Beaten up by a girl

Murdoch's wife Wendi Deng with a great right slap to Marbles

Marbles being led away by Police after his unprovoked attack on Rupert Murdoch

Ugly fat fucking left wing piece of shit and anarchist member of UKuncut Jonnie Marbles, was today arrested for attacking Sir Rupert Murdoch at the Parliamentary Select Committee with a custard pie. Marbles acting under orders of UKuncut, a more severe subversive section of the Labour Party (made up wholly of lazy public sector pension scavenging shirkers) pledged to stand by the fat cunt. Pageant Malarkey, Marble's ex-girlfriend told 'The Daily Donna' the unemployed comedian and communist dirtbag "never washes and never stops fucking eating". 

David Milliband wears better suits

Julius & Ethel Rosenberg both died in the electric chair

Ed and David...brotherly love for the cameras

Insignificant loser and ex Foreign Secretary David Milliband, denied rumours he hates his backstabbing younger brother Red Ed. The warring sons of notorious communist scum Julius & Ethel Rosenberg have never had real jobs.  Asked why they both have bird shit in their hair, David replied " it's in our eyes too".

Read em and weep

 after 168 years...not any more

Milliband sucking up to Sun readers

Red Ed Milliband and the entire Labour Party are now on high alert after the demise of the News of the World. Many readers blame the evil communist cunt for helping shut down their favourite newspaper. With the help of the trade unions and stuffed ballot boxes, subversive shit face Red Ed famously knifed his own brother Dead Ed to proclaim the Labour Party leadership. Reports of vigilante groups attacking socialists with machetes were unfortunately untrue but there is always tomorrow!

A Pig in Shit

Sir Paul with the last ever edition of 'News of the  World'

Britain's Top Militia Officer, Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson today denied claims he was bent.  Sir Paul's cock sucking approach to News International Journalists has left him in deep deep shit.  Amid calls for his resignation Sir Paul an advocate of the New Labour Police State, was tonight in hiding. Running away from all the street cameras, press and politicians he has been licking the arses of.  

Fat chance

Scotland's big fat Euro Lottery winners

Colin and Chris Weir Scotland's massive Euro Lottery winners were today celebrating their £161 million lottery win! The two fat fuckers shocked journalists by not signing up for immediate liposuction, neither would answer the charge that only fat bastards ever seem to win the lottery. Nobody wished them well, everyone was too pissed off at all that money going to lard, especially as it was difficult to tell who was fat Colin and who was fat Chris.

David Cameron wet fish

Cameron allowed 'The Daily Donna' to measure his forehead

British Prime Minister David Cameron has denied reports that he has hydrocephalus (water on the brain). His massive forehead grows bigger and bigger forcing Downing Street to issue a statement denying this is affecting his role. Cameron apparently a Conservative has been extremely fucking thick of late implementing lots of socialist bollocks. The lefty twat recently pretended to agree with President Obama in a desperate attempt to woo the black vote. He also gave away most of Britain's dwindling wealth to scavs in the third world. Cameron's aides had to remind him he didn't need to bother as most black people don't actually bother getting off their arses to vote.

Gordon Brown white van man

Gordon and Sarah Brown doing real work

Gordon Brown ex UK Prime Minister was shocked to discover that nobody gives a shit about his phone being hacked. The miserable bastard who was imposed as Prime Minister on the UK without actually being voted for, learnt that the UK public thought he was such a cunt he deserved it.  Brown denied accusations that his phone was never hacked but he was in fact just seeking publicity.  Brown has struggled to cope after being ejected from office, as a former Prime Minister he expected to get a top job but has lost out to decent people.

Michelle Obama sex kitten

President Obama and his beautiful wife First Lady Michelle Obama

The Kenyan squatting in the Whitehouse President Barack Obama has denied to journalists that his wife is cheating on him. He posed with the First Lady to prove to journalists their love for one another was real.  Reporters asked if it was true his 'limp dick' was the reason for Michelle's infidelities.  "Not true" he cried "it gets stiff at least once a week".

Yvonne Ridley's tits

Yvonne Ridley captured by the Taliban

Yvonne outside her London home

Taliban fan Yvonne Ridley says her tits have got bigger since her conversion to islam. She claims more men desire her now she is a traitor. On selling her soul and her country down the river she stated "it was easy because the Taliban were the only people who helped me get noticed". On her return to the UK, Press TV snapped her up and she now sucks Iranian cock.

England lezzers lose to France

England Ladies Football team just before kick off yesterday

England Ladies Football team went out of the Fifa 2011 Women's World Cup on penalties last night. Lesbian manager Hope Powell denied claims they lost because the whole team are lesbians. She put it down to the fact her team were shit and that her politically correct appointment meant she didn't have a fucking clue.

Rebekah Brooks collar and cuffs

Rebekah Brooks telling the News of the World staff they were fired

Here at 'The Daily Donna' I take sides, so all those who are after Rebekah Brooks head can 'go eat shit'. 

Reason to be cheerful!

Ed Milliband waving goodbye to the 'News of the World'

Red Ed Milliband the Labour Party Leader, has no chance of being the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. That's the really good news, so no need to lose the will to live because... 'IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN'.